Separation in the time of coronavirus

And he's bemoaning finances. Now... we have a fair amount of debt (our fault), but he's, for years, kept money that I've never seen (at minimum just shy of $10k a year).

Tonight, he tried to tell me that is biweekly take home was almost $400 less than what it was in January of this year. He's had no paycuts or changes to his job, despite the pandemic.

I asked what the money was coming in. Not taxes, not anything — what's the actual amount that gets deposited (we have separate checking accounts for this) from his job. And he had to the nerve to give me a very specific amount that was $372 less than what it was in January. I know what it was in January because I anticipated this — and pulled down all of his paystub amounts for the past 2 years. And a copy of his most recent, full, paystub.

He insisted that it was that low. Then, he amended with “I'm putting some away for a deposit on a place.” I had to counter with... “that's not what I asked.”

Sigh. I just pushed him to tell me the amount — after pointing out I knew what the amounts had been for the past 2 years — and that I'd put it in a spreadsheet for both of us to view. And that it was quite a bit higher than what he was telling me now.

After he went back down to “look at the numbers,” he came back with an amount that's $84 less than the January number I had — which is possible because of tax changes and insurance changes and 401k contribution changes. Though, I'll still need to see it in the form of the online paystub before I truly believe it.

So. This is why I always have doubts. Is he trying to lie and pull one over on me? Or is he so clueless that he has no idea how much money he gets paid every 2 weeks? To the tune of being wrong by about $300 — and insisting he's right when he gives me that number — when he's wrong — by $300?

Jesus. And this is an “amicable” separation? I was 2 minutes away from demanding his work login info, and/or threatening to start shit with lawyers if I couldn't even get him to give me accurate info on how much his take home pay was. After we just talked like adults and went over the pros and cons of the latest place he looked at, reviewed photos and went over all the bills he'd need to cover. WTF? I swear... it's the most subtle gaslighting. Insisting I don't know something that I, in fact, do know. I am sooooooooooo glad I prepared for all this and got copies of all this, long before telling him I was done. Sigh.