Separation in the time of coronavirus

I look back, and I realize, this isn't the first time I decided I was done. It's the first time I've made it known, and set things up to ensure it. But it's not the first time.

There were good times. We traveled. We have the same political, and mostly the same religious views. We have overlapping senses of humor. Not a lot in the way of movies, though. Marvel was an overlap — so that was a good 10-year run — despite the fact that he talks through most movies, so watching movies with him is often painful for me.

After some travel, we decided to have a kid. The kid is definitely something we are still happy about.

So, Dick continues to try to prove his “innocence” — including subjecting me to being around the other woman. This proved nothing for me. It did, though, continue to push me down the path of never automatically believing things he said. During therapy, he'd once had the nerve to tell me that I “needed” to trust him just because he was my husband. As though trust isn't earned or lost, and that it should never waver when someone abuses it.

What I lost at the moment he uttered that, was a huge chunk of the respect I'd had for him as a person.

So, we moved across the country, less than a year after we got married. And while I'd seen times where he seemed to really adore others stroking his ego (especially younger females), I attributed that to his huge medical scare (and it was nasty), and his upbringing and being the center of the family's attention.

So, we met when we were both a bit older. I hadn't quite reached my 30s (but was within spitting distance), and he was approaching his 40s. We'd both had serious relationships, but nothing had stuck. He'd gone through some crazy medical nightmares, that had left him medicated all the time, but way better off than anyone had thought when they were in the midst of it. All before I met him.

It was the week before Christmas. Sounds like such an idyllic start. We'd just gotten back from an overseas trip as a family. 12+ days visiting amazing places* that were just a few short months from being totally closed to the world.